Holiday Gifts for Grieving Loved Ones

For people grieving a loved one, the holidays can be a trying time. Traditions and signifiers of the holiday season that used to bring joy–like arguing over how to carve a turkey, hastily wrapping oddly shaped gifts early on Christmas morning, and enjoying late-night board game sessions on the living room carpet by the fireplace–now amplify the painful impact of a loved one’s absence.

There are those grieving and those who stand beside them, wishing they could do something to alleviate the pain. We don’t want to overwhelm their freezers with more casseroles, nor do we opt to order another bouquet that, along with others, will start to wilt and die. While we may not have the right answers for grieving loved ones, there are things we can do to help provide a sense of continuity during the holiday season. At the least, we can come up with special ways to help them feel tethered to a community rallying behind them. We thoughtfully recommend these gifts below as items or experiences you might share with someone grieving a loved one.

Let Them Know You’re Thinking of Them with a Friendship Lamp
We know some people getting one of these for multiple people on their holiday gift list this year. Simply plug the lamp into an outlet, choose your color, and connect to a network of friends. Each time you tap the top of the lamp, your color will flash across all other lamps in your shared network. A noticeable dopamine hit arrives the moment you notice your own lamp glowing in someone’s designated color. Why is this a great gift for a loved one grieving during the holidays? Sometimes, people don’t want to talk about how they’re feeling. Maybe they’re exasperated by the telling and retelling of their grief. A simple tap and flash of light can convey the message, “Hey, I want you to know that you’re on my mind, and I’m here for you, if and when you need me.”

Play Their Favorite Songs on a Custom Vinyl Record
It’s the first holiday party after the death of a family member, and not just any family member, but someone who acted as the social glue at annual gatherings. They freely crossed the invisible bridge between the “big people table” and “kids table,” they got away with telling the same cringe-y jokes, they made up their own words to certain songs after one too many eggnogs. Their absence is noted, but what to fill in the space their presence previously occupied? Play their favorite songs at the parties they used to love on a custom vinyl record. Allow their loved one’s favorite tunes to bring joy and fond memories back to a gloomy or lifeless atmosphere. Whether it’s in the background of a holiday gathering or an impromptu Tuesday night dinner party, grieving loved ones can use music as a healthy means of expressing and processing feelings related to death and loss.

Take Pleasure in a Tree Blooming From Their Ashes
Within the monument industry, we’ve witnessed the growing trend of nurturing a tree from a loved one’s ashes. Many families choose to mix the ashes in with fertile soil prior to installing a tree. Marking this special site with an engraved monument is a great way to create something life-giving in the wake of a loss of life. The challenge that will inevitably accompany growing a tree from a young sapling is an additional gift to the bereaved recipient. Budding trees require sunlight, shade, water, and nutrient-rich soil. Tending to a young tree can be a part of a bereaved person’s routine. The simple act of watering a tree, flower bed, or vegetable garden might be the one thing that gets a person out of bed in the morning. For that reason alone, we support gifting a tree, perhaps with a monument featuring an engraving of the deceased person’s favorite song lyrics or book quote.

Pay it Forward with a Thoughtful Donation
When you think of someone you recently lost, do you associate them with any particular passions? Did they travel to as many national parks as they could? Did they have an affinity for a particular animal? Did they volunteer? What mattered to them? Whatever the answer, there is likely a corresponding reputable charity to which you could make a monetary donation in the deceased person’s honor. If, for example, the person volunteered in schools, you could create an annual scholarship to fund innovative teacher projects in that person’s name. With any monetary contribution, we advise conducting comprehensive research as to the credibility of the target organization.

Capture the Moment When the Stars Aligned
Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries…the days that remind people of their loved ones can bring both pleasure and pain. It is on these days, especially when we may miss our loved ones the most and long for their presence. A framed post of a custom star chart – featuring the day they came into your life or any other important day – may be a much-appreciated gift for someone who needs an extra boost of love on a particular day. It’s easy to order a custom star chart featuring a map of the night sky of your desired evening. One look at the positive tribute to a loved one’s life, and a grieving person may instantly feel less alone.

Honor the Place Where Love Grew
For those grieving a beloved family member or housemate, it is understandable that they may want to leave the home they used to share with that person. While some may go through healthy grieving processes living in the house where their loved one no longer dwells, others may struggle being confronted with daily reminders of their loved one’s appearance, smells, and nuances. Still, just because one no longer wishes to live in a space they formerly shared doesn’t mean they want to erase the memories of that place from their mind. A specially commissioned painting of the home they shared with their deceased loved one can be a powerful and beautiful tribute, especially beautiful in that it allows those still living to continue seeking happiness on Earth. Paintings are a great idea, as are monuments and door signs. You can custom order an etching of the home engraved into a stone monument or carved into wood and painted.

Put the Sun on Their Face and the Wind at Their Backs
Unfortunately, when our loved ones pass, the moment is not always accompanied by a sense of closure. Those still grieving on Earth may cycle through sleepless nights of “what ifs” and assign blame to themselves for that person’s passing. In devastating losses where we did not receive closure, it is still possible to create a sense of closure. The fatigue of completing a rigorous group fitness class symbolizes a sense of closure. When juxtaposed with unresolved grief, the endorphins stemming from exercise can be associated with processing grief in a healthy way. If the grieving person might benefit from an indoor gym membership, search for reputable gyms in your area. Of course, if you live in an area with a well-maintained public parks system, purchase a park pass for the grieving person or accompany them on a walk at one of several locations.

Create Ambiance While Sustaining Life
An engraved stone bench is an extraordinary gift to give to someone grieving a person with a strong legacy. The ability to position the bench in a space–perhaps in a garden, along a trail, or even at a local park–allows the grieving person to establish a permanent space where they can dedicate time to nourishing themselves. Surround it with flowers, bird feeders, bird baths, and other delightful garden sculptures to create a positive ambiance–being in this space involves a commitment to adopting the deceased person’s most beautiful qualities. One can do many nourishing activities within this space, including journaling, praying, reflecting, and perhaps engaging in some form of artwork or creative expression. Assigning positive behaviors and feelings to the bench helps a grieving person take an empowered approach to grief versus allowing it to consume their lives and disrupt their routines.

While there will be inevitable moments of sadness during the holidays, in which a loved one’s absence is most painfully felt, there are countless opportunities to create laughter, togetherness, and joy in honor of that loved one’s memory. If you’re interested in creating a unique monument for a loved one that will give you or someone else a place to connect with them every holiday season (and anytime they desire), Gaulden Monuments stand ready to help you turn your idea into a reality.