When grieving a loved one there are a lot of painful milestones that are bound to pass. Their birthday, Christmas and the anniversary of when they passed, just to name a few. It’s completely normal for these occasions to bring up a lot of emotions - especially the first time they pass.
A death anniversary is the anniversary of someone’s death. Whether 2022 will be the first time or the tenth time you’ve had the death anniversary of a loved one pass, it can still be hard and affects everyone differently. For some people, this day may feel just like any other day and that’s okay, but for others, this day may bring up a lot of emotions and cause you to struggle with your grief. This can be especially true if you’re approaching the first death anniversary of a loved one. You may find yourself dreading the day, but there are a lot of things you can do that may help make the day a little easier on you. While nothing is going to erase your grief, doing something special to honor the day may help you cope with your emotions and connect with others.
Write a Letter
Very rarely do we get to say everything we’d like to before someone passes away and that can make coping with your grief especially difficult. Writing a letter to your loved one can be a great way to put all of the feelings that you’re experiencing into words. Sometimes simply writing down what we’re thinking can make our many thoughts feel more manageable. This can also be helpful if you have something you wish you would have told your loved one or even if you want to reflect on how much they meant to you or give them an update on what’s been happening in your life.
Do Something They Loved
Sometimes doing something can be a great way to make it through a death anniversary, especially if you choose an activity that your loved one enjoyed doing. Use this day to do an activity that your loved one enjoyed or do something that both of you loved to do together. This can help you feel closer and more connected to your loved one and help you focus on positive memories you have of them and your time together.
Gather with Friends and Family
For some people, it can be helpful to spend the day surrounded by supportive loved ones. If that sounds like you, then you might want to organize a gathering on this day so that you can all spend it together. Get everyone together and enjoy a meal in honor of your loved one. You can take this as a moment for everyone to reflect on their memories with them, share stories and even enjoy your loved one’s favorite food and drinks.
Visit Their Monument
Sometimes, people are surprised by the many feelings that the first death anniversary can bring up. Making a tradition out of visiting their monument every year can give you a place where you can reflect on and honor them each year. Visiting their monument can also help you feel more connected to them and give you a sense that you’re together again. Many people will also use this as a place to leave mementos or flowers.
The first death anniversary of your loved one can also be a good time to add onto their monument. Many families use this as a time to add a built-in flower vase if there isn’t already one. This ensures that there will always be a place to leave their favorite flowers for every anniversary to come. If your loved one’s monument doesn’t yet have a built-in vase, then we can help you add one so you have a way to mark each milestone.
Reflect on Memories
Don’t feel like you have to be strong or keep it together on this day. It’s important to let yourself feel whatever feelings you’re experiencing and to express them - even if you’re just expressing them by yourself. Look at pictures and reflect on your memories of your loved one today, even if it may make you feel sad at first. Many people find that doing this on the first death anniversary can serve as a powerful catharsis.
Distract Yourself
On the other hand, maybe you don’t want to feel sad today and that’s perfectly okay too. For some people, they prefer to be distracted on this day, whether with work, house work or other menial tasks that will help take their mind off things. It’s ultimately about whatever works best for you, so if you want to focus on something else on this day, like tackling a big to-do list, that’s okay too.
Make a Keepsake
Getting creative is another helpful way to express your emotions and channel your energy. It can be helpful to create some kind of keepsake on this day that gives you a creative outlet while also reflecting on your loved one. Try making a photo album, painting something or even doing a craft that they themselves enjoyed. You’ll end up with something beautiful that you’ll have made in honor of them.
Do Something Charitable
Doing something charitable not only helps other people but it can make you feel really good too. On a death anniversary it might feel empowering to work with a charity, especially if it was one that meant a lot to your loved one or could help people in similar situations to them. Whether you want to volunteer or participate in an event that supports the charity, this can be a great way to get something positive out of the day while also helping others.
A death anniversary is never easy, especially the first one, but these tips and activities can help you get through the day. Ultimately, it’s about whatever makes you feel better and there’s no right or wrong way to handle the day.
© 2024 Gaulden Monuments, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Written for Gaulden Monuments by Minieri & Company LLC.
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© 2024 Gaulden Monuments, Inc. All Rights Reserved.